Back to bloggin.. Where is the love??
Ever since my site @ winston.mission-4-christ.com is down... rather removed.. I have not been blogging... Tired to keep updating my site..... I kinda of tired to catching up with technology and design ever since i enlisted into the army.
Life? Kinda of monotonous after passed out from Basic Military Training (BMT).... Everyday book in and book out. Life like any other office life... People ask me aren't I happy about this? NO!!! I'm not... I missed the buddy buddy kind of feeling that i have from BMT... Where true friends can be found. Living together,suffer together, train together... everything together.. like brothers... real brothers. I really want a exciting & challenging army life that I could tell my children.
Today... book out @ 0900 after my ops duty... went home to bath and rest... changed and went over to Ryan home... had lunch with him.. He played game while i sleep... @ 1630 woke up to go cell group.. had supper.. now bloggin..
Just now, my mum ask me.. "How you want to celevbrate your birthday?" I just reply I'm not going to celebrate. I just feel that though this year is my 21st birthday... nothing for me to celebrate. I don't feel joy like any other guys who turn 21. A sense of grown-up going into adulthood. I'm already in my adulthood.... .. Living a life of my own.... What is there to celebrate? Then she suggested to get a few friends over to have dinner... I replied I didn't want.. coz she have to shrimp and save to celebrate with me. I don't like this feeling. Why people 21 birthday is big bash and bang... with many friends and family around them. While for me is a small little dinner.
Then, she ask me how about a gift? a memorable gift to mark my 21st birthday.... I also reject.. coz also to get me a gift.. she also have to shrimp and save to give me.. I just don't want her because of my 21st birthday ... suffer.... The family is already a heavy burden.....
There is also anything that is in my mind why I don't want to celebrate. I feel myself as a bag.. stuff with SAND(SAD??) Whenever someone is not happy, they will "punch" it on me. Sometimes, my sis will just shout @ me for some small stuff.. or my mum will always grumble about her problems... Ryan will express his unhappiness to me.. But me? who do i express to? I'm sensitive to people but who to senstive to me? sometimes, there is so much things bottle up... I also want to release it.. but when I tell people.. people will say I just stupid.. even get scolding back... Sometimes, I just wanna relase it and a person will just listen and give positive comments and just a hug or putting his/her hands around my shoulder.. in simple is feel loved .....
Where is the LOVE????
Life? Kinda of monotonous after passed out from Basic Military Training (BMT).... Everyday book in and book out. Life like any other office life... People ask me aren't I happy about this? NO!!! I'm not... I missed the buddy buddy kind of feeling that i have from BMT... Where true friends can be found. Living together,suffer together, train together... everything together.. like brothers... real brothers. I really want a exciting & challenging army life that I could tell my children.
Today... book out @ 0900 after my ops duty... went home to bath and rest... changed and went over to Ryan home... had lunch with him.. He played game while i sleep... @ 1630 woke up to go cell group.. had supper.. now bloggin..
Just now, my mum ask me.. "How you want to celevbrate your birthday?" I just reply I'm not going to celebrate. I just feel that though this year is my 21st birthday... nothing for me to celebrate. I don't feel joy like any other guys who turn 21. A sense of grown-up going into adulthood. I'm already in my adulthood.... .. Living a life of my own.... What is there to celebrate? Then she suggested to get a few friends over to have dinner... I replied I didn't want.. coz she have to shrimp and save to celebrate with me. I don't like this feeling. Why people 21 birthday is big bash and bang... with many friends and family around them. While for me is a small little dinner.
Then, she ask me how about a gift? a memorable gift to mark my 21st birthday.... I also reject.. coz also to get me a gift.. she also have to shrimp and save to give me.. I just don't want her because of my 21st birthday ... suffer.... The family is already a heavy burden.....
There is also anything that is in my mind why I don't want to celebrate. I feel myself as a bag.. stuff with SAND(SAD??) Whenever someone is not happy, they will "punch" it on me. Sometimes, my sis will just shout @ me for some small stuff.. or my mum will always grumble about her problems... Ryan will express his unhappiness to me.. But me? who do i express to? I'm sensitive to people but who to senstive to me? sometimes, there is so much things bottle up... I also want to release it.. but when I tell people.. people will say I just stupid.. even get scolding back... Sometimes, I just wanna relase it and a person will just listen and give positive comments and just a hug or putting his/her hands around my shoulder.. in simple is feel loved .....
Where is the LOVE????
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